Cincinnati Disc Golf Blog

The Cincinnati disc golf world world was rocked Saturday when an unsanctioned event -- held by an upstart organization -- overran the course at Harbin Park. Judge Gerald P. Smith (pictured), commissioner of the GLNRSTDGA (Gunnarsson Levinson Nadel Ross Silverman Timmer Disc Golf Assocation), issued a statement late today, which was broadcast on ESPN-8 ("The Ocho"):

"It is indeed a dark day for the sport of disc golf when an unknown, unaffiliated organization can lay claim to an arbitrary public course. Any association with even a modicum of knowledge would have contacted the GLNRSTDGA (pronounced: Glunnerstadga) prior to arranging this unsanctioned event. Let there be no mistake about it: when it comes to Cincinnati, our association is small in number, but large in stature. Only we are capable of sanctioning disc golf events in this town. And we intend to seek redress, in court, if this happens again."

Using a hastily rearranged course, Gunnarsson and Ross squared off in another of their classic matches. A large gallery numbering well over twelve braved the sunny, yet strangely misty, weather. Despite the threat of rain and a wet course, Gunnarsson quickly broke out to a three stroke lead over the first six holes (-1 to +2). But as the day wore on, Gunnarsson's disc transformed itself into the proverbial tree magnet, making hard shots the norm for a player unused to losing control.

Fourth hole at Harbin Park

On the final hole, the massive 725-foot par five that is traditionally played as the fourth, Ross nailed a fifteen-foot putt to salvage par. The final totals left Ross at one over and Gunnarsson at three over.

It was an interesting end to a day that almost never got started. Ross and Gunnarsson were waiting on the first tee when a hippie ran up to them.

"Dude, don't you know it's a sanctioned event that's occurring? That's why you see all of these guys with disc golf carts (Ed: no, I'm not kidding). This is a city-wide event."

Ross and Gunnarsson expressed skepticism by continuing to play. They noted that these "disc golfers" were violating many, if not all, of the simple rules of GLNRSTDGA:

1) More than a couple of discs: not allowed. If you can't play with one or two discs, don't bother. This ain't real golf, Malibu Ken, it's freaking disc golf.
2) Bags: not allowed. If you can't carry the one or two discs that are permitted by the rule-book, don't bother.
3) Carts: definitely not allowed. This isn't real golf, get it, Sienna? The whole point of disc golf is that it should take an hour to an hour-and-a-half, max. If we wanted to wait three hours to play, we'd go to a real golf course.
4) Shot-clock: once it's your turn, if you take more than fifteen seconds to throw a disc you're penalized a stroke. Don't dilly-dally, Sunshine.
5) Smoking: uhmm, anyone caught smoking on the course is automatically warned that their head can be used as a putting green at any time.
6) Throwing things on the ground between shots: discouraged. If you can't carry everything you need, including while throwing your disc, you're not travelling light enough. It's all about speed, Tucker.

Please follow the official rules from now on and always remember to contact the GLNRSTDGA Commissioner's office if you would like to check scheduling or have an event sanctioned by the governing body.