Cincinnati Disc Golf Blog

It wasn't the best day for the trio at Harbin Park, but Gunnar Gunnarsson was able to maintain a lead over the last few holes and solidify his three-stroke victory. The final standings read:

-2 Gunnarsson
+1 Ross
+6 Levinson

In the midst of the back nine, Levinson unravelled like a roll of toilet-paper hurled at eighty miles an hour. A disastrous trifecta of bogies -- two double-bogies and a single in succession -- ended Levinson's run. In the process, Levinson hit four trees, two large bushes, a small dog and also felled a bird.

Gunnarsson narrowly avoided injury on 18 while pitching from the tree-line. During the throw, his foot became tangled in a tree-root, and the golfer fell to the ground yelling. Fortunately, there was no injury and Gunnarsson turned out to be screaming at his caddy for not warning him about the lie.

"I want that tree root removed, now!" Gunnarsson insisted, while being physically separated from his caddy. Park officials indicated that they would remove the root because the golfer attracts such large galleries to the event.

The controversial Gunnarsson is slated to be featured in a "Behind the Glory" episode on ESPN-8 sometime in 2006.

The much-anticipated Levinson and Ross matchup ended with an unsatisfying draw at Harbin Park on Sunday. Ross birdied the 600-foot, par 5 18th to draw even with Levinson, who had maintained a two-stroke lead as late as the 16th hole. As the pair walked to the 16th, Levinson stood at even-par while Ross followed at two-strokes over.

The wind was extremely disconcerting over the front nine, as it swirled about the course's dominant feature - the Fairfield water tower. In the maelstrom, some observers in the gallery spotted a house, a witch on a bicycle, and miscellaneous tumbleweed swirling in the milieu. Other observers were merrily flying kites, altogether unconcerned with the "great windstorm of 2005" as well as the cataclysmic disc golf game unfolding before their very eyes.

After the match, a despondent Levinson expressed regret. "I should have kicked the door shut on 16 and been a little more conservative. Instead, I got caught up in the moment and really tried to go for it, which I didn't need to do. My coach (Silverman) wasn't able to be here today and he usually has some good advice for me, like 'keep my head down', and 'try not to throw it over there, idiot!'. I really missed having him here to work the strategy side."

Ross noted that his team of advisors was also absent. "My agents -- the firm of Lipps, Maines and Reed -- couldn't be here today and I was pretty much without my biggest cheering section. They claimed that they had 'other things to do', but the least I would expect is that they show up, especially with the hefty percentage of each purse they collect. It might be time to re-evaluate my management team."

A spokesperson at LM&R did not return calls at press time.

It was a hot day in Cincinnati Saturday and Gunnar Gunnarsson was even hotter. While temperatures hovered near the century mark, Gunnarsson exploded over the back nine and left Ross in the dust at Harbin Park. Gunnarsson finished an impressive 4 under with Ross six strokes back at 2 over. A series of four birdies in six holes, culminating with an impressive fifteen-foot putt on 18, put the finishing touches on one of Gunnarsson's best outings.

The flamboyant Gunnarsson, who has become something of a Charles Barkley-like figure in the world of disc golf, was exuberant in the press conference following the match.

"I pounded him flatter than a sheet of aluminum foil under Michael Moore's mattress," the self-proclaimed "bad boy" of disc golf stated. "I was hoping not only to demoralize and humiliate him, but to use my 'shock and awe' drives off the tee to destroy his will to live. It looks like I succeeded."

Later a reporter asked Gunnarsson about his reputation as the "bad boy" of disc golf and whether children who watched on television might imitate his raucous behavior. Gunnarsson exploded, "I'm not a f***ing role model, get it, dumbs**t? You a*****es make me sick." and stormed out of the room.

Ross Rookie Card (Topps)

It came down to the wire, but Silverman and Nadel couldn't hold on Sunday as Ross recovered from a double-bogie start on the first hole and gradually made up ground as the day wound down.

The gallery erupted in a roar as Silverman started off on fire, quickly breaking to a two-stroke lead. But by the 15th hole, he'd lost his trusty Beast disc, which was lodged forty feet off the ground, the product of a toss that could only be termed "spastic."

Fortunately, Silverman had found another disc earlier, albeit a somewhat damaged one, and was able to replace his beloved Beast.

The final standings read:

+0 Ross
+4 Silverman
+6 Nadel

Silverman was upset with himself for losing his Beast. "I really lost control of that drive, but it's all good. I was able to recover and give that whiny SOB a battle. Next time...," he muttered, "next time, he better watch his back."

Hilda Burton, of West Chester, Ohio, was in the gallery following Nadel. "He's so much fun to watch, what with the gesticulations and cursing, but he really outdid himself today. His pirouette on 17 was a one-of-a-kind combination of ballet and hammer throw."

The Cincinnati disc golf world world was rocked Saturday when an unsanctioned event -- held by an upstart organization -- overran the course at Harbin Park. Judge Gerald P. Smith (pictured), commissioner of the GLNRSTDGA (Gunnarsson Levinson Nadel Ross Silverman Timmer Disc Golf Assocation), issued a statement late today, which was broadcast on ESPN-8 ("The Ocho"):

"It is indeed a dark day for the sport of disc golf when an unknown, unaffiliated organization can lay claim to an arbitrary public course. Any association with even a modicum of knowledge would have contacted the GLNRSTDGA (pronounced: Glunnerstadga) prior to arranging this unsanctioned event. Let there be no mistake about it: when it comes to Cincinnati, our association is small in number, but large in stature. Only we are capable of sanctioning disc golf events in this town. And we intend to seek redress, in court, if this happens again."

Using a hastily rearranged course, Gunnarsson and Ross squared off in another of their classic matches. A large gallery numbering well over twelve braved the sunny, yet strangely misty, weather. Despite the threat of rain and a wet course, Gunnarsson quickly broke out to a three stroke lead over the first six holes (-1 to +2). But as the day wore on, Gunnarsson's disc transformed itself into the proverbial tree magnet, making hard shots the norm for a player unused to losing control.

Fourth hole at Harbin Park

On the final hole, the massive 725-foot par five that is traditionally played as the fourth, Ross nailed a fifteen-foot putt to salvage par. The final totals left Ross at one over and Gunnarsson at three over.

It was an interesting end to a day that almost never got started. Ross and Gunnarsson were waiting on the first tee when a hippie ran up to them.

"Dude, don't you know it's a sanctioned event that's occurring? That's why you see all of these guys with disc golf carts (Ed: no, I'm not kidding). This is a city-wide event."

Ross and Gunnarsson expressed skepticism by continuing to play. They noted that these "disc golfers" were violating many, if not all, of the simple rules of GLNRSTDGA:

1) More than a couple of discs: not allowed. If you can't play with one or two discs, don't bother. This ain't real golf, Malibu Ken, it's freaking disc golf.
2) Bags: not allowed. If you can't carry the one or two discs that are permitted by the rule-book, don't bother.
3) Carts: definitely not allowed. This isn't real golf, get it, Sienna? The whole point of disc golf is that it should take an hour to an hour-and-a-half, max. If we wanted to wait three hours to play, we'd go to a real golf course.
4) Shot-clock: once it's your turn, if you take more than fifteen seconds to throw a disc you're penalized a stroke. Don't dilly-dally, Sunshine.
5) Smoking: uhmm, anyone caught smoking on the course is automatically warned that their head can be used as a putting green at any time.
6) Throwing things on the ground between shots: discouraged. If you can't carry everything you need, including while throwing your disc, you're not travelling light enough. It's all about speed, Tucker.

Please follow the official rules from now on and always remember to contact the GLNRSTDGA Commissioner's office if you would like to check scheduling or have an event sanctioned by the governing body.