Sunday, January 29, 2006
Unsatisfying tie after sudden death expires
A Ross bogie on 16 set the stage for a dramatic sudden-death playoff Saturday at Harbin Park. Timmer and Ross finished in a tie after a two-hole sudden-death playoff in the annual Timmer Nutritionals Grand-Slam Tournament, brought to you by Timmer Nutritionals, the leader in fitness products for the disc golf industry. Note to editors: insert additional product placement data here
-1 +0 Ross
-1 +0 Timmer
+1 Gunnarsson
+12 Griest
-1 +0 Ross
-1 +0 Timmer
+1 Gunnarsson
+12 Griest
Saturday, January 21, 2006
"Lucky-streak" propels Timmer to victory
An incredible run of 57 "lucky" shots in a row -- or at least that's the story told by his foe Doug Ross -- propelled Warren Timmer to a one-stroke victory at Harbin Park on Saturday. When informed of his opponent's characterization of the victory, Timmer was characteristically blunt.
"That whiny little b**ch ought to shut the h**l up. He's lucky I didn't win every damn hole. Punk."
After the match, as the two rivals entered their respective limousines, a shouting match broke out and the pair had to be restrained by tournament officials. Interviewed on board his Gulfstream V, jetting to a match in the Florida Keys, Timmer was anything but apologetic.
"I'm sick and tired of these guys complaining every time I administer another beat-down. Well, actually, I'd be sick and tired... if not for my nutritional regimen, available now at timmernut.com."
-2 Timmer
-1 Ross
"That whiny little b**ch ought to shut the h**l up. He's lucky I didn't win every damn hole. Punk."
After the match, as the two rivals entered their respective limousines, a shouting match broke out and the pair had to be restrained by tournament officials. Interviewed on board his Gulfstream V, jetting to a match in the Florida Keys, Timmer was anything but apologetic.
"I'm sick and tired of these guys complaining every time I administer another beat-down. Well, actually, I'd be sick and tired... if not for my nutritional regimen, available now at timmernut.com."
-2 Timmer
-1 Ross
Monday, January 02, 2006
Gunnarsson makes it four sudden-death wins
Gunnar Gunnarsson continued his streak of sudden death victories, taking advantage of a Warren Timmer meltdown on 18 and then slamming the door shut on 19.
-1 -1 Gunnarsson
-1 +0 Timmer
+0 Ross
+9 Nadel
Timmer walked to the 18th hole with a two-stroke lead. But his skirmish with several trees, a hedge, and a rabid gopher resulted in a catastrophic bogie. Conversely, Gunnarsson followed up a beautiful, midde-of-the-fairway drive with laser-beam second and third shots and thereby hatched a birdie.
Interviewed after the match, Gunnarsson claimed his new cold-weather gloves -- manufactured by Nikey as the "Gunnar B**ch-Slapper 3000s" -- had made all the difference.
"See the wind, rain, cold -- I don't pay it no never mind. Not with my B**ch-Slapper 3000s. S**t."
The victory put Gunnarsson's record in sudden-death matches at 4-0.
-1 -1 Gunnarsson
-1 +0 Timmer
+0 Ross
+9 Nadel
Timmer walked to the 18th hole with a two-stroke lead. But his skirmish with several trees, a hedge, and a rabid gopher resulted in a catastrophic bogie. Conversely, Gunnarsson followed up a beautiful, midde-of-the-fairway drive with laser-beam second and third shots and thereby hatched a birdie.
Interviewed after the match, Gunnarsson claimed his new cold-weather gloves -- manufactured by Nikey as the "Gunnar B**ch-Slapper 3000s" -- had made all the difference.
"See the wind, rain, cold -- I don't pay it no never mind. Not with my B**ch-Slapper 3000s. S**t."
The victory put Gunnarsson's record in sudden-death matches at 4-0.
