Saturday, September 10, 2005
Gunnarsson to Timmer and Ross: You Suck
The 'Dennis Rodman' of disc golf exploded to a lead on thirteen and didn't relinquish his grip on the throat of Warren Timmer. Gunnar Gunnarsson, who had been trailing by a stroke much of the day, outdrove the pack on 13 and birdied the long par-four hole. Timmer, in the midst of a comeback from a catastrophic knee injury, bogied the hole and went from a stroke up to a stroke down. He was never able to recover.
The controversial Gunnarsson was anything but magnanimous after the match, stating, "They suck. They both just suck and are not worthy of playing on the same course as Gunnar. Gunnar knows best, beyatch."
In interviews and press conferences, Gunnarsson has begun referring to himself in the third person and demands tour organizers provide only blue M&M's and Evian water in the clubhouse following each match. And organizers oblige, knowing the huge television ratings and advertising dollars the firebrand disc golfer brings to bear.
The flamboyant Gunnarsson has, thus far, skirted fines by the Commissioner's office despite his theatrics that some have termed, "not fit for younger viewers." But NBC, which has exclusive rights to GLNRSTDGA disc golf, has declined to comment. NBC spokesman Brett Taylor noted only that Gunnarsson, "has attracted a desirable demographic profile to the broadcasts."
In the mean time, Gunnarsson is cutting a swath through the league and raising the hackles of his opponents with cutting remarks and a fast, accurate style of play. "They better get used to getting their ***es kicked," he noted after Saturday's match, "because that was just too easy. Too easy. Beyotch."
-4 Gunnarsson
-3 Timmer
+2 Ross
The controversial Gunnarsson was anything but magnanimous after the match, stating, "They suck. They both just suck and are not worthy of playing on the same course as Gunnar. Gunnar knows best, beyatch."
In interviews and press conferences, Gunnarsson has begun referring to himself in the third person and demands tour organizers provide only blue M&M's and Evian water in the clubhouse following each match. And organizers oblige, knowing the huge television ratings and advertising dollars the firebrand disc golfer brings to bear.
The flamboyant Gunnarsson has, thus far, skirted fines by the Commissioner's office despite his theatrics that some have termed, "not fit for younger viewers." But NBC, which has exclusive rights to GLNRSTDGA disc golf, has declined to comment. NBC spokesman Brett Taylor noted only that Gunnarsson, "has attracted a desirable demographic profile to the broadcasts."
In the mean time, Gunnarsson is cutting a swath through the league and raising the hackles of his opponents with cutting remarks and a fast, accurate style of play. "They better get used to getting their ***es kicked," he noted after Saturday's match, "because that was just too easy. Too easy. Beyotch."
-4 Gunnarsson
-3 Timmer
+2 Ross
# @ 3:21 PM 
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It's really sad to see an old champion like Ross falling behind in the standings like this. Much like Jerry Rice, maybe it's time to hang up the sneakers, boat shoes, sandals or whatever you wear disc golfing nowadays.
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