Sunday, May 28, 2006
Timmer runs his streak to -- s**t -- I've lost count
Another day, another transcendant performance by future Hall-of-Famer Warren Timmer. Perfect weather conditions didn't help the threesome chasing Timmer. They befell the same fate as the others who faced the gauntlet over the past several months: bitter defeat.
Timmer said after the match that, "nothing gives me greater pleasure than crushing my enemies, seeing them driven before me, and hearing the lamentation of their women."
Official Standings - Harbin Park 05/27/2006
-9 Timmer
-5 Ross
-2 Gunnarsson
+4 Levinson
Timmer said after the match that, "nothing gives me greater pleasure than crushing my enemies, seeing them driven before me, and hearing the lamentation of their women."
Official Standings - Harbin Park 05/27/2006
-9 Timmer
-5 Ross
-2 Gunnarsson
+4 Levinson
Monday, May 22, 2006
Timmer wins Sally Struthers Invitational
Giggling over Ross' disastrous double-bogie on the par-three 15th hole, Warren Timmer rode inertia and a disc-golf-cart to yet another victory in the Sally Struthers Invitational.
His knee, which was wrapped in an Ace bandage after the match, had bothered him all day. But his awesome mind control powers had forced any negative thoughts out of focus.
Timmer commented, "Indubitably, my patella was a constant bother. Yet I was able to submerge any thought of pain or distress during the moments of greatest concentration. Thankfully, this talent is something I acquired in my years as a sheep-herder in Egypt. Patience. Discipline. Laser-like focus. That's all it takes to rule the disc golf world.
Now, where's Sally Struthers, b***hes? I needs my feets rubbed."
-7 Timmer
-6 Ross
+6 Nadel
His knee, which was wrapped in an Ace bandage after the match, had bothered him all day. But his awesome mind control powers had forced any negative thoughts out of focus.
Timmer commented, "Indubitably, my patella was a constant bother. Yet I was able to submerge any thought of pain or distress during the moments of greatest concentration. Thankfully, this talent is something I acquired in my years as a sheep-herder in Egypt. Patience. Discipline. Laser-like focus. That's all it takes to rule the disc golf world.
Now, where's Sally Struthers, b***hes? I needs my feets rubbed."
-7 Timmer
-6 Ross
+6 Nadel
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Timmer wins record-setting, 3-way playoff
It was a match highlighted by record-setting performances and Jeff Levinson's return from the Injured-Reserve List. Timmer had never before won a sudden-death match, losing four times to Gunnarsson and once to Ross. On 18, leading Gunnarsson and Ross by a single stroke, Timmer missed a short birdie putt. Gunnarsson converted a short birdie and Ross nailed an 18-footer to send the match to OT.
Most pundits figured Timmer would crumble like a stale cookie as he had so many times before. But, this time, they would be proven wrong. Timmer birdied 19 and Ross's par put him out of the running; but Gunnarsson converted an immense 20-foot birdie putt to send the match to another hole.
This time, it was Timmer's turn to shine. When both players were faced with mid-range birdie putts, Timmer converted his and Gunnarsson's rimmed out. At long last, Timmer could claim a sudden-death victory. He leaped into the air with arms extended, slapped a caddy on the butt, and began singing Irish war ballads from Braveheart.
Timmer's check was $126,000; Gunnarsson collected $57,000; Ross $29,800 and Levinson received $19,500.
Levinson, playing gingerly and conservatively, closed on a high note with a birdie on 18. Spectator Henrietta Winston of Rolling Hills, Kentucky cheered long and hard for Levinson, following him throughout the day. "He's set such an example for all of us and my hope is he will continue to work off the rust and get back to his form of last year."
-9 -1 -1 Timmer
-9 -1 +0 Gunnarsson
-9 +0 -- Ross
+5 -- -- Levinson
Most pundits figured Timmer would crumble like a stale cookie as he had so many times before. But, this time, they would be proven wrong. Timmer birdied 19 and Ross's par put him out of the running; but Gunnarsson converted an immense 20-foot birdie putt to send the match to another hole.
This time, it was Timmer's turn to shine. When both players were faced with mid-range birdie putts, Timmer converted his and Gunnarsson's rimmed out. At long last, Timmer could claim a sudden-death victory. He leaped into the air with arms extended, slapped a caddy on the butt, and began singing Irish war ballads from Braveheart.
Timmer's check was $126,000; Gunnarsson collected $57,000; Ross $29,800 and Levinson received $19,500.
Levinson, playing gingerly and conservatively, closed on a high note with a birdie on 18. Spectator Henrietta Winston of Rolling Hills, Kentucky cheered long and hard for Levinson, following him throughout the day. "He's set such an example for all of us and my hope is he will continue to work off the rust and get back to his form of last year."
-9 -1 -1 Timmer
-9 -1 +0 Gunnarsson
-9 +0 -- Ross
+5 -- -- Levinson
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Yes, it's Timmer again
Warren Timmer lost three strokes and his lead on the 8th hole Sunday to fall behind a charging Ross. Approaching the 8th, Timmer led -4 to -2. But a double bogie -- to Ross' birdie -- resulted in a quick turnabout that shocked the gallery and Timmer as well.
After Timmer picked up a stroke on 11, the pair remained tied until 14. There Timmer launched one of his finest drives ever, a spectacular left-to-right reverse-spinner that threaded the wooded swamp. Timmer converted the Eagle putt and Ross never seriously challenged thereafter.
Spectator Edna Mahoney of Xenia, Ohio, was cheering for both players during the final holes. She followed the pair from 16 onward, where Ross birdied the tough par-3 with a drive that came startlingly close to acehood. "I'm normally a member of Timmer's Troopers, but Ross was actually competitive today -- kind of a change-of-pace for him -- and I thought it was going to get tight on 18, when Timmer drove into the trees and then killed some worms with his second shot. Lo and Behold, he survived and pulled it off."
After the match, NBC announced a reality show in which Timmer will coach 16 amateur disc golfers. One player will be weeded out per week and the final surviving contestant will receive a 2007 GLNRSTDGA pro card. The show's tentative title is, "Timmerican Idol".
-9 Timmer
-6 Ross
After Timmer picked up a stroke on 11, the pair remained tied until 14. There Timmer launched one of his finest drives ever, a spectacular left-to-right reverse-spinner that threaded the wooded swamp. Timmer converted the Eagle putt and Ross never seriously challenged thereafter.
Spectator Edna Mahoney of Xenia, Ohio, was cheering for both players during the final holes. She followed the pair from 16 onward, where Ross birdied the tough par-3 with a drive that came startlingly close to acehood. "I'm normally a member of Timmer's Troopers, but Ross was actually competitive today -- kind of a change-of-pace for him -- and I thought it was going to get tight on 18, when Timmer drove into the trees and then killed some worms with his second shot. Lo and Behold, he survived and pulled it off."
After the match, NBC announced a reality show in which Timmer will coach 16 amateur disc golfers. One player will be weeded out per week and the final surviving contestant will receive a 2007 GLNRSTDGA pro card. The show's tentative title is, "Timmerican Idol".
-9 Timmer
-6 Ross
